Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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. . I am a whale

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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