Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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So I was walking down the road today

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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