What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Where's the dick??? east

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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