My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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this site is funny.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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