Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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I've got a boner

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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