So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

do you have a wife?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops