Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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AIDS

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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