What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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