What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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make me a sandwich!

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops