What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

a Jew had a small nose

Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

my bubbles!

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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