What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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