Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Knock knock

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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Womens basketball

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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