I'm Jewish

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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I need to start studying.

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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David Cameron

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops