In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Whats Obama's last name?

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +66

All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops