Why did you step on my watermelon?

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Diarrhea

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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