There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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