Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

An Englishman walks into a bar.

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

I'm gay.

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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