There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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david poredos

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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