What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Homonyms should be band.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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