What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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17

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Boom.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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