What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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