Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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Bark I'm a tree

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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