Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

7+5=12

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops