why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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