Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

I've got a boner

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

hi hi strager danger

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

Knock, Knock The door's open

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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