when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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