What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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