A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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minorities.....

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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whats one plus one penis

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops