Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Stop procrastinating.

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Women Sports.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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