A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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