How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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