What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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all your base are belong to mark

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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How did th-A fridge.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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minorities

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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