Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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