pudding

How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

Women's Rights

Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

An irish man walks out of a bar

roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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