A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops