Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Penis.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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