An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

CHORGLUND

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -20

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops