Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

82

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops