You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

Fox News

I once did something.

What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

5 - samios in a wheelchair.

What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

a black man did not eat chicken.

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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