How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Jayden Eccles

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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