Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops