Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Invisible Television.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Lacrosse

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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this site is funny.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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