What?

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Women's rights.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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smug face >:}

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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