A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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