How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops