Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Agent 47.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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