how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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the WNBA

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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