What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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Morning wood.

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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YOU

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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