What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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I'm hungry.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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