What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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I'm hungry.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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willie revilame

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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