Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

I didn't know that guy did crossfit

GONNA

Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

How does shit taste?\ Good.

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

a skinny sumo wrestler

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...