All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -39

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops