What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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my bubbles!

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops