roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Women's rights.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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